Did you get your hug on today?

                             
                                                         

Did you know that "a 10-second hug a day can lead to biochemical and physiological reactions in your body that can greatly improve your health?" (source)

Levels of the "love hormone", oxytocin, are increased while hugging. "Oxytocin is a naturally occurring hormone in your body with incredibly powerful, health-giving properties,"  that is released in response to physical touch. (source)

Some of the physiological and biochemical benefits that occur from positive physical touch such as hugging include:

• stress reduction (from lowering levels of stress hormones like cortisol)
• ease depression
• boosts in immune system
• fight fatigue
• fight infection

You might say that your child is not a "hugger".  It is true, that not everyone has the same "love language" and everyone responds differently to physical affection (you can read more about that here). However, everyone needs and/or desires physical affection to some level.  "Many people are touch-deprived. One study found that one-third of people receive no hugs on a daily basis while 75 percent said they wanted more hugs." (source)

Who doesn't love to be loved?! There are so many reasons, physically and emotionally, to hug.

So, with Valentines Day right around the corner, it's a great time to spread the love.  If you have a teen or other young ones around, grab them for a little bear hug, today.  You never know just how much that might mean to them! (even if they act like you have cooties)

Have you hugged your child today! 

Do Some Investing This Summer

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Many parents count down the last days of school as they wait for the opportunity to spend some extra time with their kids during the summer.  Some parents may also count down the days until school starts again.

Regardless of which group you fit into, most kids are home an extra 35 +/- hours a week during the summer.  That's a whole lot of extra time at home.

Although summer break is nearly half over, it's not to late to be intentional about spending quality and quantity time with your kids.  Obviously, not everyone has ample vacation days or funds to spend on their kids during the summer.  However, spending quality time with your kids doing simple activities will create special memories that will last a lifetime.

Parents don't have to clean out their bank accounts to make special memories with their kids.  There are so many activities that are free or cost very little.  Here are a few ideas:

:: Camp outside under the stars - even if it's in your backyard. 
:: Grab a fishing pole and head to a pond or lake.
:: What sport/activity does your child enjoy?  Do it with him/her.
:: Cook a meal together.
:: Have lunch or dinner at a local park or lake. 
:: Check out free local outdoor activities in your community. 
:: Been to the zoo lately? 
:: Go unplugged - play some board games, card games or "pictionary".
:: What kind of nature does your community offer?  Go for a hike, spend time at the lake, or do  
   some rock climbing or head out on the bike trails.
:: Teach them a new skill.  Do you know how to change a tire? Do laundry? Cook? Mow the
    lawn? Sew? Play an instrument? Paint a portrait? Fix something? Take quality photos?
:: Give back - serve at a local soup kitchen or lend a hand to some elderly neighbors.

Time is a priceless commodity.  When you invest it in your children, the returns are plentiful.

How Relationships are Like Bank Accounts

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Did you know that relationships are like bank accounts?!  You have the ability to make both deposits and withdraws.  

Each time you speak words of encouragement or affirmation, you make a deposit.  Every time you belittle, correct or criticize you make a withdraw. 

When it comes to parenting, this is not to say that parents should never correct or discipline their kids.  The point is that in the same way you cannot make a withdraw from your bank account if there isn't a balance, you cannot continually make withdraws in relationships without first making deposits - at least without repercussions. 

There is a quote that goes something like this, "rules without relationship breed rebellion."  It has also been said that 90% of parental communication with their children is correction and the other 10% is relational.  If your entire relationship is built on setting rules and enforcing them, that doesn't create much of a two-way conversation.  

Often, teens (and young children) will begin to tune out the voice that only makes withdraws and few or no deposits and sometimes they even begin to shut down as their self-esteem gets depleted.

Here are some tips on how to cut back on the withdraws and increase the deposits:
  
:: Don't major on the minors and micromanage by 
    over correcting everything your child does. i.e   
    There are probably bigger issues to argue about 
    rather than their sense of style that you don't like.
:: Spend time talking, laughing, encouraging and 
    listening to your child.
:: Encourage them to do their best, not someone 
    else's best.
:: Look at the the spirit in which your  

    correction/discipline is done.  

:: Everyone has positive qualities and/or talents.  
    Look for those in your teen (child) and let them 
    know it.


Don't let your relationship with your teen/child get into the red by overdrawing their account with more withdrawals than deposits.  Decide today that you are going to fill up "their account". 

Real Love vs. Infatuation

Many of us have been there. It's 3rd grade...at recess... on the playground and while hiding a giggle, you tell your friends that you love so and so.  That's not the only scenerio.  Moments like these occur daily in middle schools, high schools, college and far into adulthood.  The words "I love you" are used so often.

Many times the word love is used very flippantly in all aspects of life.  "I LOVE tacos."  "I LOVE that movie."  "I love Billy, Bobby, Suzy or Sally".  When do we really mean it?

How is infatuation different from real or true love when it comes to relationships?  How can we help our kids to recognize the differences between the two and save them from potential heartbreak?!

Below are some examples of the differences between the two.

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Guiding our young people to recognize the difference between real love and infatuation can help them to make positive decisions regarding relationships and avoid a lot of future heartache - for themselves and others.