No, actually, everyone is NOT doing it

When it comes to sex, many teens feel pressured because they think everyone's doing it. This is actually not the case. Statistics show that less than half of teens in high school have had sex (43% of boys and 42% of girls). 
(source: National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy)

Yes, it is true that sexual activity among teens, teen pregnancy and incidence of STI's and STD's has risen in recent years, but that doesn't mean that all young people are choosing to be sexually active. 

In fact, "there is a growing body of research that confirms that abstinence-centered education decreases sexual initiation, increases abstinent behavior among sexually experienced teens, and/or decreases the number of partners among sexually experienced teens".
(source: National Abstinence Education Association, Feb. 2010)

Parents often fear that the abstinence option sets teens up for failure in the area of sex. But the reality is you are not setting up your teen for failure.  Sexual abstinence is much more broad of a topic than just pregnancy or STD prevention. It's been said, "you can't put a condom on someone's heart." 

Abstinence education realizes that “having sex” can potentially affect not only the physical aspect of a teen's life but also, as research shows, can have emotional, psychological, social, economic, and educational consequences as well.  (source)

The Facts

• It is NOT unrealistic to think that teens can exert self-control.

• Not ALL teens are sexually active.

• Teens deserve more credit for their potential to make healthy choices

• Abstinence is the ONLY 100% protection against STD's and pregnancy.

• Parents influence teens and can empower teens to say NO.

• "Among teens that have had sex, 55% of boys and 72% of girls wish they had waited."  (source)

Porn can be harmful to your teen's present AND future

                                                                                                image source

This graphic describes 10 different ways that porn can harm marriages and sex lives.  (The full explanation can be found here). 

Why would we discuss marriage on a blog that is meant for teen issues?! 

Because most likely in the future, your teen may choose to get married or choose to be devoted to someone in a committed relationship.  Many of the decisions they are making today can effect that marriage/relationship down the road.

It is not a secret that porn is rampant in society. It is ever increasing among young people.  In addition, the age at which kids are first viewing pornographic images is getting younger and younger.  In another one of our blog posts, we revealed various statistics that may surprise parents.  A few of these statistics were as follows:

• the average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11
• 90% of 8-16 year olds having viewed porn online (most while doing homework)
• 80% of 15-17 year olds having multiple hard-core exposures (source)

(Read the entire blog post here. )

Another study reveals:

"Pornography websites were accessed by at least 44,000 primary school children in one month, online research showed Friday, amid calls for greater restrictions on providers."

"The Authority for Television on Demand (Atvod) tracked the actions of children in Britain in December 2013 and found that one in 35 of six- to 11-year-olds online clicked onto an adult website."

"Some 200,000 aged under 16 -- one in 16 who went online -- also accessed an adult website in the same month, while one in five teenage boys under 18 were clicking on porn, the online video regulator said."

"One adult site, which allows users unrestricted access to thousands of hardcore porn videos free of charge, attracted 112,00 teenagers." source

The numbers and statistics tell it all. This is a growing problem, worldwide.

It is imperative that parents understand the severity of the issues and addictions that pornography can bring into their child/teen's lives.  

• Know how to protect your child/teen from accessing pornographic sites and images!  
• Keep lines of communication open! 
• Don't judge! 
• If there seems to be an addiction, they may need help!

Let's talk about sex!

So, maybe you won't bring it up like that and most likely, by now, you or someone else has had "the talk" or "a talk" with your teenager about sex. If not, they are sure to have been exposed to other conversations, images, opinions, advice, and even experimented in this area.  

March is National Talk to your Teen About Sex Month and we want to encourage you to keep the lines of communication open on this subject, even when it seems awkward because... 

"when parents talk to and affirm the value of their children, young people are more likely to develop positive, healthy attitudes about themselves. This is also true when the subject is sex. Research shows that positive communication between parents and their children can help young people establish individual values and make healthy decisions.

According to Barbara Huberman, RN, MEd, Director of Education and Outreach for Advocates for Youth, parents who act on the belief that young people have the right to accurate sexuality information are parents whose teens will delay the initiation of intimacy and use contraceptives when they choose to become sexually active."  source

Don't overwhelm yourself thinking it's a one time conversation and you only have one shot.  It's about using everyday teachable moments to relay  ongoing messages about safer and healthier choices to your teen.

There are so many facts available, and you don't have to have them memorized.  If your child asks a question and you don't know the answer, look it up and get back to him/her or look it up together.

Here are some topics to ponder when these opportunities arise: 

• healthy relationships
• STDs
• teen pregnancy and childbearing
• abstinence
• dating
• contraception

Some resources/books we recommend for these discussions include:

Questions Kids Ask About Sex; Honest answers for Every Age, printed by the Medical Institute for Sexual Health.

Restoring the Teenage Soul : Nurturing Sound Hearts and Minds

in a Confused Culture, by Dr. Margaret Meeker 

Your advice, open communication and listening ear in this subject area means a lot more to your teen that you may know.  

"Research confirms what young people already know - what their parents have to say matters to teens." source  

Risky Sex and Drinking

Maybe you find these statistics shocking or maybe you are not surprised.  Either way, they are reality.  

As quoted in another post, from an ABC news broadcast, Dr. Richard Besser stated, "I'm a parent of teenagers and I'm a pediatrician and one thing I know is far more teens are having sex than parents know or believe". 

So many teens are sexually active and many aren't even fully aware of the risks they are taking.  Even teens that would normally make healthy and thoughtful choices, can make risky decisions when their thought process is clouded under the influence of alcohol.  

Although you may not know all the recent statistics about teen sex, STDs, drinking, and teen pregnancies, etc. like our staff does and you may not have the high tech media presentations and powerful speaking abilities like our Health Educators...you are our students' parent(s)!  Unlike our staff, you get to spend more than one hour a day or week with your teens. Our desire at P.A.T.H. is to encourage parents to keep conversations going with your "tweens" and teens about these issues.  

It may feel awkward or you may feel like you are intruding, but it's worth stepping out of your comfort zone.  They need all of the encouragement they can get in making healthy choices for their present and future. Sometimes home may be the only place they will hear "not everyone is doing it."

When was the last time you talked with your teen about his/her choices regarding drinking or sex?